My meditation practice has been lacking a lot lately.  I am not going to let this "get" to me, however.  I can remember other times when this was a problem and I would beat myself up a lot about it.  When one takes a step back, it's not healthy to take two more steps back as a punishment.  That's just silly.  As for why I am not able to sit as much as I used to, it's really a combination of a few things.  Firstly, I am living two states away from where I was just a few weeks ago.  Secondly, I have been sort of falling off for a while now.  So, I have to say that this break and my recognition of it is probably a really good thing for me.  It's not as though I have become some kind of a loser over night and now I have woken up in a world where I'm just a pathetic shadow of my former self.  I have come to a new place and I am proud of myself for seeing what has happened in the intervening time.  That is not really something that is easy to do.  A lot of people I know really let themselves go and don't really see what is happening.  It's a good thing for me to be able to notice what is going on in my life.  The most important thing is that I am not attaching more stuff on top of the reality.  I'm not adding a bunch of useless fiction to the facts.  It's not as though I am saying to myself, "I must have done something wrong somewhere along the way to be in the position I'm in now.  Let's sit down and chase that story-line for a few hours or so."  
love always,
Samuel
 
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